What Hurts the Most
by brathan23
Summary: One-shot that might turn into a two part.Brooke has hidden feelings for a friend and today is the day she'll reveal them.The second part is up and is Nathan's POV!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:Well I just had this one-shot that I couldn't get out of my head.So I had to write it down.Anyways...on with the show.**

**Disclaimer:I own nothing although I wish I owned James Lafferty.He's scrumptious.**

Today...today was the day that I would tell Nathan Scott that I loved him.I was anxious and fidgety but I knew it was now or never.I just couldn't keep these feelings bottled up any longer.I loved him.I needed him.

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me__  
__I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out__  
__I'm not afraid to cry_

As I walked up those steps my heart quickened its already strong pace.Throwing a chocolate colored lock of hair over my shoulder I took a breath in and opened the door, entering his parent's house.Up the stairs I traveled so many times before his door lingered there like a bad omen.

_Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me__  
__There are days__  
__Every now and again i pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me_

I opened the door and eyed him, a smirk playing upon my face."Hey hotshot,"I said in a flirtatious raspy voice I had perfected over the years.

"Brooke..."he said turning from his swivel chair, his hand glued to the mouse.He motioned for me to sit by him.When I did he spoke again,"Come see what Haley sent me."

As those words spilled out of his mouth I felt a pang in my already fragile heart.

"Okay,"I said in a voice softer, less confident.Nathan opened the email the other girl sent him.My hazel eyes scanned the words,those very last words,"_I think I might love you."_

_What hurts the most, was being so close__  
__And having so much to say__  
__And watchin you walk away__  
__Never knowing, what could have been__  
__And not seein that lovin you__  
__Is what i was tryin to do_

Although those words were shocking the next ones hurt even more as Nathan turned to me,"I think I might love her too," he said in a giddy grin that made me want to cry for not being able to make him that happy.I slumped my shoulders but returned with a weak smile, my facade going up.

"That's great,"I said pulling him into a hug the last touch that I would let myself get away with."I...uh...I have to go," I said with a shrug, feeling the tears lining the rim of my eyelids.

He nodded,'Okay...see ya Brooke."

And with that I exited the house saying my last goodbye in a hushed voice,"I love you too Nathan."By the time I reached my car I let out a muffled moan and cried into the steering wheel, out in the open for everyone to see.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go__  
__But i'm doin it__  
__It's hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and i'm alone__  
__Still harder gettin up, gettin dressed, livin with this regret__  
__But i know if i could do it over__  
__I would trade, give away all the words that i saved in my heart that i left unspoken_

I drove along the road, still in hysterics.It started to rain.Then it started to pour, tiny droplets coming down in sheets, pelting my car, hiding my tears, coating my heart.I didn't even bother turning the wind shield wipers on since I wouldn't be able to see anyways with the tears coming down in a horrendous rate.My heart ached and yearned, chest pains came up and gripped me, twisting my insides, I felt like I was about to die.Stupid,stupid anxiety attacks I waited all day to tell him how I really felt, but my life was ending...it didn't matter anyways.

_What hurts the most, is being so close__  
__And having so much to say__  
__And watchin you walk away__  
__Never knowing, what could have been__  
__And not seein that lovin you__  
__Is what i was tryin to do_

Slowly, yet surely I felt myself losing control of the steering wheel, the car's wheels spinning out of control underneath me.My body was jolted forward and then back as my head hit the head rest, causing me to lose myself deeper.All I could see before I had fully lost myself were those words that came out of Nathan's mouth.Although I could never touch them or taste them like I had yearned for years.For he would never be My Nathan.He was always Deb's Nathan or Dan's Nathan, then Peyton's Nathan and Lucas' Nathan, now he was surely Haley's Nathan.

_I'm not afraid to cry__  
__Every once in a while even though goin on with you gone still upsets me__  
__There are days__  
__Every now and again i pretend i'm okay but that's not what gets me_

Now I know if I woke up from that hospital bed I would have to face everyone.I was on the verge of death on the In-Between as I'd like to call it.I don't know if I could ever face the blue eyed brunette who had stolen my heart and given his to someone else in return.Death seemed like a good choice but I couldn't do that to Peyton, she was my best friend and she was already going through a lot.So there I was stuck between two decisions that could both easily break me.So I stayed there still unsure of what was to come.

_What hurts the most, was being so close__  
__And having so much to say__  
__And watchin you walk away__  
__And never knowing, what could have been__  
__And not seein that lovin you__  
__Is what i was tryin to do_

As I entered consciousness I looked around to see all of my friends surrounding me, including Nathan who brought Haley.Although I couldn't be happier to be back, I still felt miserable.It hurt just to look at him, but he didn't even do anything, I never told him that I had kept my love for him a secret all this time.As I looked down I saw his hand intertwined with the lighter brunette, a pang of pain entered me yet again, nevertheless I kept my weak smile.Today was the day I was supposed to tell Nathan Scott I loved him, but I walked away so these feelings I keep locked up inside until the day he becomes My Nathan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**_Okay well this is the second part of my story which is in Nathan's POV instead of Brooke's. I hope you enjoy it as much as the last one.Please leave reviews because you know I love them and I want to know if you guys hate it or love it. _

**Disclaimer:**_I own nothing except for my ideas.Everything associated with One Tree Hill belongs to Mark Schwan and the CW except for the song lyrics which belong to A Rocket to the Moon.Thank you and read on._

**Baby We're Invincible**

There she was, my best friend, the secret love of my life, unconscious, possibly dying. When I asked the nurses and doctors how her condition was they all had the grim look on their faces as if to tell me that Brooke wasn't going to make it out alive. How could she not? She didn't deserve this, none of us did. If she died on that hospital bed, I'd die too, for I felt guilty somehow as if I was the one that made her crash into that tree. Maybe I said something to hurt her in anyway, although I'm not sure what it could be. So there we were, the four of us, waiting to see those hazel eyes flutter open and the deep indentations in the sides of her cheeks be shown when she smiled that spectacular smile of hers that could light up any room. As I mulled in my guilt Haley interlocked her fingers with mine, although it wasn't the hand I wanted connected with mine, I went along for it wasn't like Brooke Davis would ever return those feelings for me. I was her best friend, nothing more, nothing less.

**I see you and I'm waiting to make my move but I'm scared and I know that you got better things to do.I'll touch your hand and I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve it's cliche I know but baby it's the price we pay to get the things we've wanted.To get the things we've left behind.It's what you've wanted, what you needed,what you've always dreamt about.Don't take another step and don't breathe another breath unless you're coming back to me.**

An hour later Brooke had returned to us, my heart sped up rapidly, almost leaping out of my chest. I was so anxious, so full of anxiety it pained me to recall that I doubted that I would ever see her open her eyes again. But alas, there she was, as beautiful as always, now that I think about it there hasn't been a day that has gone by that I didn't think she was gorgeous. I shook my head, trying to rid of those thoughts since its not like I could ever tell her that. But if the right moment came around then maybe, just maybe I could.

**I, I'm trusting you and I'm taking the long way home.I'm leaving and it's not because of you.Will you just hold me tight and never let me go?I know this whole things wrong but baby, we're invincible.**

I wasn't able to visit her alone until Peyton and Lucas went. I slid out of Haley's grip, excusing myself, to go see the precious angel that lay on the other side of that door. I twisted the knob, feeling knots forming in my stomach, it was incredible how nervous I was, people would be surprised that even Nathan Scott would melt in the presence of Brooke Davis. I stepped in and shut the door quietly, drowning out all other sound, and looked at her, a smirk forming on my face. "Hey there hotshot," her raspy voice quavered. I waved like a little schoolboy and pulled up a chair next to her bed."Where's Haley?" she asked innocently, although I knew for some reason she didn't like her. "I dunno, I told her that I was going to see you alone," I shrugged nonchalantly.

**If I could take these words and fill them up with air,I'd fly you to the stars so we can disappear.If I could take your heart and keep it close to me.I swear it will not break it.I swear it will not bleed.And I believe just anything you say.If you would tell me to get lost I'd ask "how far away?"And now it's getting late.And I can't keep my eyes open.But my hearts open for you**

We chatted for awhile, laughing about jokes from the past and what our plans for the summer were. You know, best friend kind of stuff, at least that's what I thought until a vulnerable voice piped up. "Nathan..." Brooke paused, looking up at me with her huge brown eyes, I was surprised I could control myself so well. "Yeah?" I asked, waiting for her to respond. "I...uh, I have something to tell you," she replied, garbled. "Okay, shoot," I grinned, just basking in her presence. "Okay, well I..."she dragged on. "You what?" I asked, looking at her like she was crazy, Brooke was never scared to tell me things why did this make it any different. "I love you!" she blurted.

**I'm trusting you and I'm taking the long way home.I'm leaving it's not because of you.Will you just hold me tight and never let me go? I know this whole things wrong but baby, we're invincible.Will you just hold me tight and never let me go? I know this whole things wrong but baby, we're invincible.**

My mouth hung open in shock,"You what?" Her eyes looked up at me pained, and her voice was much quieter this time. "I love you Nathan Scott, I always have and I probably always will, I know you're my best friend and this would just make things complicated but I can't help but feel this way about you. You send shivers up my spine whenever you say my name, my heart skips a beat when you hug me, and when you comfort me when I'm feeling horrible I pretend that we're together. I was going to tell you this earlier but you showed me the email and I got scared, I just didn't want to get hurt." She shrugged, tears openly falling from her eyes. I reached forward and wiped them away, stroking her smooth cheek. Pulling myself closer to her, I grasped her small frame, smelling her hair which happened to be vanilla, my favorite, I opened my mouth and spoke,"Brooke Davis, I love you too."

**Will you just hold me tight?I see you.And never let me go?**_I'm waiting to make my move._**I know this whole things wrong.**_But I'm scared and I know._**But baby, we're invincible.**_That you got better things to do._

She looked up at me in disbelief, but all I could do was smile at how perfect this moment was. Lifting her chin up, I captured her lips with mine as streaks of adrenaline went through me like fireworks. It all seemed so unreal, the girl of my dreams proclaiming her love for me.The kiss was soft and tender, but she pulled away, I already was missing her lips pressed against mine.I let her go, letting her rest her head on a pillow, as I took one of her dainty hands into mine.Raising her arm slowly, I kissed every knuckle, as Brooke closed her eyes, I couldn't blame her she must have been exhausted from her day.When I let her arm fall, I walked outside and explained to Haley why I couldn't be with her, and although it pained me to hurt her like that, I had to if I ever wanted to pursue Brooke freely.

**I'm trusting you.**_If I could take these words._**And I'm taking the long way home.**_And fill them up with air._**I'm leaving.**_I'd fly you to the stars._**And it's not because of you.**_So we can disappear._**Will you just hold me tight?**_If I could take your heart._**And never let me go?**_I'd keep it close to me._**I know this whole things wrong.**_I swear it will not break._**But baby, we're invincible.**_I swear it will not bleed._

The next day, I was awakened by nurses rubbing my shoulder to get me to wake up.I yawned and smiled the smile that made women swoon, so they let me stay with Brooke.When she finally did awake, her eyes opened in shock as if she didn't expect me to be there.A soft smile appeared on her face, as I stroked her cheek with my thumb."Hey boytoy,"she said weakly, her perkiness still up."Hey, how are you?"I asked, kissing her cheek softly."Fine, now that I'm with you,"Brooke laughed, her cheesy pick-up line causing me to shake my head in mock worry."You mean with me...like together or here right now?"I rambled."Both,"she smiled, my heart almost bursting out of my shirt with happiness.We were happy, we were perfect if just for this moment."I love you Brooke Davis,"I smiled happily."I love you too Nathan Scott,"she responded in her entrancing, yet raspy voice.

**I'm trusting you.**_If I could take these words._**And I'm taking the long way home.**_And fill them up with air._**I'm leaving.**_I'd fly you to the stars._**And it's not because of you.**_So we can disappear._**Will you just hold me tight?**_If I could take your heart._**And never let me go?**A_nd keep it close to me._**I know this whole things wrong.**_I swear it will not break._**But baby, we're invincible.**_I swear it will not bleed._

**Author's Note:** Love it? Hate it? Let me know by sending me a review.I'm sorry this update came so late I've been swamped for what seems like ever.I promise this summer I will get more updates for **After the Fall.**So please let me know, anything is appreciated.I need feedback people!!I know the ending sucked, but I thought we needed some fluff...


End file.
